Book review: “Marriage for 3” by Evangelist Melisah Kunje

A 17-chapter book on marriage. Yes, you read right – that’s 17 chapters! “What could one possibly say about marriage in 17 whole chapters?!”, you may ask. Let’s find out, shall we?
As someone who had not anticipated to get married so soon, to whom marriage was the last thing on her mind, Evangelist Melisah Kunje of Rock Foundation Church, Eastern Cape, South Africa, was faced with a sudden proposal from a man she barely knew, a man who was certain that he didn’t want her to be his girlfriend but his wife. It was then that Melisah took it upon herself to consult God about this institution of marriage in order to understand what it actually is and how to effectively co-operate and make it work. God, the one who instituted marriage, couldn’t have been a better person to ask.
In chapter 1 titled Eden, the Genesis, the first thing Melisah understood about marriage is that it is instituted in Eden, in the presence of God, just as it was with Adam and Eve.

“[Marriage starts in the presence of God], where everyone is spiritually conscious, where they are not at risk of making fleshly decisions, which will result in regret.”

Chapter 2 titled The purpose and the root focuses on the foundation on which marriage should be based on. Often, we tend to enter into marriage based on emotions, but emotions can change; they don’t sustain the marriage.
The chapter that follows, titled after the book Marriage for 3 poses the question: “who is the third person in your marriage?” With the first marriage of mankind, Adam and Eve, God was the third person, until the devil creeped in. What about today?

“God and the devil can’t share a space.”

Chapter 4 shares how the Holy Spirit can be your best friend in your marriage.
The chapters that follow hereon focus on the husband and wife individually, because as much as God may be allowed to have His seat in marriage, the other 2 persons in the marriage still have an effect in the effective operation of God’s property – the marriage.
A godly husband is the title of chapter 5. It shares the expectations of a husband, looking into the deeds and character of Jesus Christ, as well as other relevant biblical scriptures.
Chapter 6 titled A helper compatible for him emphasizes on a wife being “a helper”, not someone who puts the husband in a position where he needs another helper. It also addresses what exactly the wife is helping. The phrase “compatible helper” or rather “suitable helper” focuses on the fact that a wife is custom-made for the husband.
Chapter 7 titled Love is a blanket, is all about protecting each other as husband and wife when it comes to your weaknesses and marital issues.
Chapter 8, Let no man put asunder, exposes and addresses all the ideologies of the world and false teachings that contribute to the breaking of marriages.

“If you married your partner because of God’s purpose, no amount of beauty, money, success or sexual lust can be more powerful than your fear for God who joined you and your partner together.”

Chapter 9 addresses the danger of pride in marriage.
Why do marriages fail is the title of chapter 10. The reasons addressed include idolatry, adultery, the doctrine of Jezebel in pulpits, wrong foundation, conditional love, to name a few.
Chapter 11, The proverbs wives’ analysis, is quite exciting. It’s an analysis of the 2 types of wives in the book of proverbs, looking into how one type of wife can help build what God intended in the marriage and how the devil can destroy God’s vision through another type of wife.
Chapter 12 looks into the different types of husbands in the Bible – husbands that can be followed and those whose mistakes we can learn from.
Chapter 13 is titled The bedroom experience. Believe it or not, there are some things many tend to do and overlook but actually negatively affect the marriage bed. This chapter addresses a few of these concerns while also helping to nurture this aspect of marriage.
God can speak through your partner is the title of chapter 14, which talks about wives and husbands in the Bible through whom God spoke. This chapter addresses the concern that a husband would most likely not want to listen to his wife because he is “the head” and believes that only what he says goes. What is key is to first hear and discern where the message is coming from before dismissing what your spouse says, because God can speak through them.

“Pay attention to what your partner says and discern God’s voice in every conversation.”

Chapter 15, titled A wife with an assignment, shares examples of wives in the Bible whom God entrusted with a mandate, wives who ideally may have been supported by their husbands to be able to carry out their purpose.

“When a husband has a revelation of who his wife is, he does not hinder her from fulfilling God’s purpose in her life; he is not jealous of her.”

Chapter 16, Be careful of carnal royal wives, is merely a warning of the kind of women who would draw a husband away from God, looking into the characteristics of wives in the Bible and the effect they had on their husbands.
And finally chapter 17, Till eternity, emphasizes on God’s desire for marriage to be forever, and how important it is to cherish it.
This book is filled with knowledge. It’s enough to spark a conversation on a number of things, while also reflecting on ourselves: the singles who want to get married, the newlyweds, and those who have been married for a long while.  We’d love to hear it all! Do leave a comment below.
P.S: To get yourself a copy of the book, you can Whatsapp +27 64 085 8720