Book review: “Where did we go wrong? (The cry – conversations about men)” by Athini B. Memani

Fatherlessness, gender-based violence, broken family structure, child abuse, poor standards of morality and principles, toxic relationships – these are some of the things society deals with. The impact these things have is gruesome, not to mention the great damage they cause.

It’s human and very much understandable for society to bash men, to say, “Men are trash” because of the brutal and immoral things they do. Yet the very same society is the one that actually contributes to the “trash” they claim men to be.

In this book, Athini opens our eyes to actually see exactly how society adds to the problems we are facing concerning men. She also digs in deeper into explaining:

  1. The root cause of these issues
  2. The impact
  3. The solution

The root cause
The root causes of men supposedly becoming “trash” are the notions and cultural beliefs that society, and even families, have imposed on men regarding what makes a man and how men should be. You’ll find that such notions and beliefs are actually destructive. Sadly, these notions and beliefs have been accepted as the norm by society and families, so much that they become all that a man learns and forced to accept. In addition, the absence of fathers and failure to raise children according to the intent of God within His principles adds to the destruction. It’s amazing how negligent we are about all these things, yet negligence is what actually costs us.

The impact
The impact of the causes is unbelievably enormous. You’ll find that men have gone astray from the original intent God had for them: as heads in their homes who can lead right and protect, who love their wives and children so much that submission to them is easy. Instead, the complete opposite is occurring, and this ends up being a cycle because children grow up in broken homes without a good solid foundation to build their character and life on, repeating the cycle.

The solution
The good news in all this is that there is a solution. Men can be great leaders, protectors – everything we need them to be according to God’s original plan for men. We had been praying, discussing, condemning, complaining, protesting, fighting against these men; but the best justice / solution to the problems we have is to be understanding and help these men by bringing solutions and being the solution ourselves; for men to also take responsibility by being intentional about changing.

Athini believes that each and every single person has a solution, a solution that will help transform our men to become the best version of themselves. The key thing is for our men to unlearn the toxicity they had accepted as the norm and be informed of the will of God about how He had designed men to be. God Himself is the one that gives ability to transform minds and change the heart and character of men, so that they become the best version of themselves.

Let us not lose hope in our men. Let us be the solution.

21 thoughts on “Book review: “Where did we go wrong? (The cry – conversations about men)” by Athini B. Memani”

  1. Wow, finally someone gets it!Serminers and lectures should be organized around the findings of this incredible well researched and informed book concerning the true reflection of our current affairs.

    1. Simthandile Mhlambiso

      😀🙌🏽 It truly gives hope and shows that there are definitely solutions. It can and will happen! 😀

  2. Pamela Nqeketo

    OMG what a Godly revalation in all the 3 parts of the book Wow at God wow at the Author 💗❤…Thank God for this will bring a change we have been waiting for Nation wide 🤗 well done …

  3. Phumeza Memani

    Wow, I look forward to getting myself a copy. Very mind opening book. Very serious issue here, most men without fathers have made it by God’s grace, others are striving to be better while others are down and out. Very heartbreaking matters. May God help our society to heal and do better with raising boys with Godly and sound mind principles. I concur we need seminars such as this for community outreach.

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