It’s such a humbling experience for one to be open and share their struggles, emotions, heartaches – all the effects resulting from the absence of a father as a young boy or man. This can actually make one realise how privileged they are to have a father who is consciously and intentionally present in his son’s life, not just financially but emotionally, physically and spiritually in relation to principles.
Fatherlessness is not a surprising issue. It dates back to the old days, when husbands and fathers had to find work far from their families merely to be able to put food on the table. This is one of many points Patrick raises in the book as one of the reasons for fatherlessness. Other reasons include death, fathers intentionally walking away and abandoning their responsibilities, and unfortunately mothers who either hide their pregnancies or deprive the child of seeing their father.
Extract from the introduction:
“It is sad to see broken families and broken men going around breaking more girls each and every day, not because they want to, but because the examples, or rather the male figure and the role models have disappeared, or have decided they do not want to raise their kids, or they are separated because of their jobs and their social standards.”
It’s incredibly surprising how much damage fatherlessness has, particularly in the life of a boy child. Many may argue that there are strong mothers who have been able to play the role of both a mother and father, who have raised men that even the society can be proud of. But, as Patrick mentions in the book, even though God has graced women to be able to do that, women were not created to do as much. A mother is meant to nurture, while a father is the disciplinarian. There are things a father can teach his son that a mother would not succeed in when it comes to the boy child.
Among the consequences of fatherlessness, Patrick shares the effect this had on him, from how he wished his father was there to walk him to school on his first day, to being taught wrongly and pressured by his older brother and friends into having his first girlfriend, sex and substance abuse. He was pressured by a brother who was fatherless himself.
Sadly, the world we live in is quite negligent about this topic, and for as long as that is the case, the destructive consequences will never cease until such time that we take a stand and do something about it. Ironically, Patrick shares how his father being absent actually made him stronger and taught him a lot of things, a lot of which he shares in his book.
Patrick has brought awareness, insight, that can help us make more informed decisions to avoid fatherlessness as much as possible. He shares about the role of a father, even father-daughter relationships and the girl child’s perspective regarding a father, especially since he himself is a proud father of two beautiful girls. He shares professional opinion on this topic from a respected Dr. Raphasha, perspectives from different men and ladies who had been fatherless for different reasons, as well as how solutions can come out of each and every one of us.
“In all fairness, children who were denied the love of their father would usually suffer from mental and/ or emotional baggage from a young age, and can or may grow up troubled, stubborn and may even be aggressive. After all, no one has trained them to be in control of their own feelings.” – Dr Refilwe Raphasha – MBCHB Degree.
There’s a lot more to look forward to in this book, so much value and wisdom. We would all be doing ourselves, our families, our children and society justice by getting a copy.
Fatherlessness and its effects can be avoided. It starts with us.
P.S: To get a copy of the book, you can contact the author directly on social media: